YouTuber Colleen Ballinger, who is best known for her awkward, controversial character Miranda Sings, has recently come under renewed scrutiny for what some fans have said were inappropriate conversations and on-stage interactions beginning in the early 2010s when they were minors. Multiple fans have posted screenshots of conversations that they say demonstrate that Ballinger, now 36, raised mature subjects like virginity and sexual positions or manipulated them to help her defend against any sort of online criticism that has been levied against her. In separate conversations with TIME, three former fans detailed their experiences with Ballinger and reflected on how the aftermath of their relationships with her has affected them in their adult lives.