Last week, Oakland Athletics relief pitcher Shawn Kelley made a valiant bid for the Dumbest Baseball Injury of the Year with an incident now known as "the dishwashing mishap." During the event, which involved Kelley's hand getting acquainted with a knife, the pitcher "nearly cut the tip off his thumb," ESPN reports. Subsequently, the Great Dishwashing Mishap of 2018 was filed into the annals of baseball players doing really stupid things to injure themselves — a niche obsession among many fans, including myself. There is a crucial caveat to taking delight in other people's momentary pain: This is not a celebration of serious injuries, maimings, getting hoof-and-mouth disease, et cetera.