Dear Amy: Twenty years ago, I had an affair that ended my eight-year marriage (after 15 years together). I am extremely remorseful and even though I have apologized to my ex (and he has forgiven me), I can’t seem to forgive myself. The phrase “once a cheater always a cheater” just plays on an endless loop in my head. I hate myself for betraying a man who was nothing but kind toward me. I honestly feel like if I forgive myself, it’s like saying that what I did was OK. I also feel like a huge hypocrite when conversations with friends turn to infidelity.