Comment on World’s Marine Life On Edge Now That SeaWorld Moving On From Orcas

The Onion, The Onion
Thu, 04/14/2016 - 10:14am

World’s Marine Life On Edge Now That SeaWorld Moving On From Orcas

PACIFIC OCEAN—Following the theme park’s pledge to phase out exhibits featuring the whale species and discontinue breeding them in captivity altogether, the world’s marine life told sources Thursday they were completely on edge now that SeaWorld is moving on from orcas. “At first, I was happy to hear the news about the orcas, but then it dawned on me that SeaWorld would probably try to find a replacement and I just started to freak out,” said an anxious and visibly trembling black marlin, who explained how a feeling of tense unease had spread among the manatees, sharks, octopuses, and other larger species of the ocean ecosystem that any one of them might be rounded up at any moment, transported to a small, featureless tank, and forced to perform a choreographed series of tricks up to a dozen times a day for crowds of onlookers.

 

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