Asking Eric: I Don’t Have Much Time Left To Live And I Don’t To Waste It On My Obnoxious Brother

Dear Eric: I am 75; my brother is three years older. I’m dying of Stage 4 renal cancer that has metastasized. I tried many ways and many times to explain why I didn’t like spending time with my brother. I don’t like the person he is. I didn’t like his parenting that was demeaning to his adopted son, nor that he said my stepchildren weren’t “real” because they weren’t adopted. He has gaslighted and demeaned me our whole lives. When I had open heart surgery, my then-wife asked me to tell him not to come in so she could have quiet time to contemplate; he showed up and kept talking to her for four hours. In each instance, he turned the conversation to how hurt he was by my reasons.