Dear Amy: My husband and I live five hours away from our first grandchild. We see him several times a year and have a good relationship with our son and his wife. Our daughter-in-law’s parents have a lovely home five minutes from the young couple’s apartment. Last Christmas we basically “crashed” her parents’ Christmas mid-day dinner — our son had given this his OK, but we now realize that was wrong. Our son even had it out with his mother-in-law last year over this.