Then, ask her what she plans to do about what you KNOW she is doing. OK- the hard part: YOU DON'T TELL HER you snooped on her phone. YOU DON'T TELL HER you know her (as typed on the phone msg) feelings regarding the old flame. It's a tough converstion to have so that she doesn't suspect you know her (??) true feelings regarding the ex paramour. More @Wikipedia
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