Christianity just isn't sexy anymore. Not that it ever was; in fact it's more like a spiritual chastity belt, which, if worn too long, not only blocks all sexy-fun-thoughts from entering, breaking them in two on its steely, cold surface like so much dried spaghetti, but which chafes away at whatever sexuality the wearer had in the first place, rubbing and pulling and pinching (and none of these in a fun way) until it has left him or her with a massive gangrenous infection that can only be dealt with by cutting out the affected organ(s) entirely. Figuratively speaking, of course. Which might help explain why the only religion out there whose numbers are growin' these days is...the lack of religion.

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