Daily Horoscope For March 31, 2023

I can hear it now: "Jimmy Carter would still be alive if he had only voted for your favorite president, ME!" Dear God, please stop me from punching a motherfucker today. Amen. The Associated Press reports: President-elect Donald Trump said Tuesday that he's planning to attend the funeral of former President Jimmy Carter. Asked about it as he walked into a New Year's Eve party at his Mar-a-Lago club in Florida, Trump responded, "I'll be there." Pressed on whether he'd spoken to members of Carter's family, Trump said he'd rather not say. Funeral services honoring Carter, who died Sunday at 100, will be held in Georgia and Washington, beginning Jan.

On Fox News, House Speaker Mike Johnson followed President-elect Demented Donald's lead in blaming undocumented migrants and open borders for the terror attack and carnage in New Orleans. Investigators are instead pointing to forty-two-year-old Shamsud Din Jabbar, a U. S.-born citizen and Army veteran who allegedly had "trouble adjusting to civilian life." For Trump and the MAGA GOP, it seems there is never a bad time to blame migrants for things they haven't done.

The U. S. House of Representatives recently passed a bill that would allow the President to take away the tax-exempt status of any nonprofit organization that he determines is providing material support for terrorism. Although existing law already prohibits American nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) from supporting terrorism, the new bill would remove existing procedural safeguards, effectively allowing the President to shut down any organization based on his judgment alone. [time-brightcove not-tgx=”true”] Handing the President such a power threatens Americans’ basic freedoms in civil society.

Republican Congressman from New York, Nick Langworthy, claims House Republicans aren't subjected to an authoritarian leadership like they had under Nancy Pelosi's purview. We don't know whether to laugh or cry. And I may be mistaken, but, Speaker Pelosi was not in charge of House Republicans. And it's the incredibly WEAK "leadership" from Mike Johnson that has President Elon Musk thinking he can run the House of Representatives by threatening to fund primary challenges against those who do not obey HIM.

Just after a U. S. army veteran from Texas intentionally drove a white pickup truck with an ISIS flag into a New Year’s crowd in the Bourbon Street area of New Orleans early New Year's Day, killing at least 15 people and injuring at least 35 others, the Republican Governor, Jeff Landry, posted a photo of himself with friends in front of a fancy pants restaurant in the area where a New York strip steak costs $64.00, and crab cakes cost $49.00. We're glad you're eating well, you fucking Yahoo, after Americans were just murdered on the streets in New Orleans.

TIME Editor in Chief Sam Jacobs sent the following note to staff on Thursday: Dear all, I’m pleased to share with you that Nikhil Kumar is returning to TIME as Executive Editor. I’m also thrilled to announce that Lori Fradkin, who joined TIME in 2018, is being promoted to Executive Editor. Nikhil Kumar will be overseeing our AI, Climate, and Health teams, working with those reporters and editors to expand our coverage in these key verticals and the leaders shaping them for TIME. [time-brightcove not-tgx=”true”] Together, our AI, Climate, and Health journalists have been among TIME’s most innovative and recognized.