When Donald Trump won the U.S. presidential election last week, emotions spiked to feverish levels. Some people celebrated until they were hoarse; others lost their voice from shouting into the void or at those very revelers. Few on opposite sides knew how to talk to each other, at least in any way that felt productive, meaningful, and (imagine!) kind. “We have in our minds that the people who support the other candidate are these narrow stereotypes of what we’ve seen in the media, and what our own minds created due to our cognitive biases,” says Tania Israel, a professor of counseling psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of Beyond Your Bubble: How to Connect Across the Political Divide.