Dear Carolyn:
At family gatherings, my brother's wife puts my brother down with negative comments, says indirect, hurtful comments to her son's girlfriend, and is, in general, denigrating to other relatives. My mother has started to speak up when my brother's wife says something negative about my brother, which appears to have brought on comments from my brother's wife about how difficult my mother is and how she should go to a nursing home due to her age. (Both of these comments about my mother are utterly wrong.)