Dear Amy: Four months before my daughter’s wedding, she told me that her uncle (my brother, “Dave”) would make her feel unsafe if he was a guest. She asked me not to invite him. My daughter is very politically progressive, as are many of her friends, and although she and Dave have always had a good relationship (I thought), he is a conservative voter and has supported candidates we all abhor. Dave has always been very nice, so my daughter’s request surprised me. I wrote Dave a very nice note, telling him that we would not be comfortable with him at the wedding and that he would not be invited. Dave did not respond and did not attend. Afterward, I sent him a card and pictures from the wedding, all in an effort to make him feel like he was not being totally left out. I have not heard from Dave since then.

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