'I tried to keep everything hush-hush,' the 'American Idol' judge says of carrying on like nothing was wrong.By Eric Ditzian Paula Abdul Photo: Frank Micelotta/Getty Images After years of public speculation, Paula Abdul has revealed that she suffered for years from a reliance on pain medication — a habit that left her close to death and in a rehabilitation facility. The "American Idol" judge disclosed her ordeal in an interview with Ladies' Home Journal.