Nfl Scout Hoping Player’s Hometown Friend ‘big Killah’ Won’t Be Liability [the Onion]

Nike sure is high on Denver being high. As in, high up. So the fashionistas up in the Grading The Week offices got a gander at the Nuggets’ new “City Edition” jerseys that leaked online a few days ago, along with those of their NBA peers. The usual gang of idiots walked away with eight immediate takeaways: 1.

GOLDEN — For 12 years, Paul Stroud’s done everything he can to combat the effects of Parkinson’s disease. He had a pair of stimulators implanted deep in his brain. He takes the standard medications to treat symptoms. He even briefly tried out tai chi. Over the past couple of months, however, the 71-year-old’s discovered an effective form of therapy he may have never tried otherwise — one that takes him vertical. When Stroud sheds his walker to put on a harness and scale a climbing wall at Movement gym in Golden, his battle with Parkinson’s — and the issues with balance and tremors that accompany it — dissipates as he pulls himself up. “I don’t do real well with heights, so I’m not a big fanatic about going up the wall.

If you looked at the 19 former Broncos nominated for the Pro Football Hall of Fame this week and wondered if any will reach Canton, the answer is no. This is written with no joy or satisfaction, but even the cases of receiver Demaryius Thomas (positional logjam), cornerback Aqib Talib (needed multiple All-Pro berths) and Tom Nalen (center is a forgotten position) face long odds. So it raises an interesting question: Who will be the Broncos’ next Hall of Famer?

LOS ANGELES — Shohei Ohtani set a major league record by homering and stealing a base for the 14th time in the same game and the Los Angeles Dodgers rallied to beat the last-place Colorado Rockies 6-4 on Friday night. The win reduced the NL West-leading Dodgers’ magic number to four to clinch the division.

BROOMFIELD — Broomfield football waited five long years to face off with cross-town rival Legacy again, and on Friday night at Elizabeth Kennedy Stadium, their anticipated matchup didn’t disappoint. Generally offensive gladiators, Class 4A’s top-ranked Eagles struggled to get much of anything going against Legacy, instead relying on its defense to squeak out a 14-13 victory. Two years after its Class 4A state championship berth, Broomfield looks just as lethal.

Last week reminded us that the Broncos are in deep trouble this season. Once again, interceptions were thrown, penalties called, runs stuffed and hands wrung. The blaring alarm comes from offensive statistics that look bad, are bad, and seem impossible to comprehend for a team not wearing leather helmets and playing on black-and-white TVs with rabbit ears. No one disputes the premise that the Broncos offense stinks.