Tabloid stories usually have some vague, distant relationship with the smallest sliver of a fact, but some are such ludicrous fantasies that they deserve special attention. “Inside Versace Killer’s Bag of Death!” is one such a gem. The National Enquirer tells us, in its trademark ungrammatical style, that the backpack belonging to the fashion designer’s killer Andrew Cunanan “holds key to shocking slaughter!” As the bag’s contents are “unveiled for the first time,” we learn of the “explosive evidence” inside “the killer’s sack that contained everything he needed for a quick escape” as the assassin “planned to flee the country.” Fighting back our excitement, barely able to breathe, we learn that Cunanan’s getaway kit comprised “a brochure for a hotel on Catalina Island, Calif., a bottle of Nair hair remover, a lubricated condom and an X-Acto knife without the blade.” No passport (which the Enquirer fails to mention was found near the crime scene inside a red Chevy truck Cunanan had stolen.) No giant wad of cash.
How A Killer Fled The Fbi With A Condom And Hair Remover, In This Week’s Tabloids
Peter Sheridan, Boing Boing
Wed, 02/07/2018 - 2:45pm
Topics: enquirer exclusive, inside versace killer s bag death national enquirer andrew cunanan as fighting cunanan s catalina island calif no one pacific los angeles bottle obama hillary fbi trump the russia clintons seems mariah carey s satanic sex shocker alison sounds elton john s globe elton s parkinson s nightmare because national examiner french easter beyoncé dwayne johnson white house the rock marriage mike fisher u.s olympic aly raisman taking back my life i m kylie jenner s jennifer aniston justin theroux pr carrie fortunately heidi klum karen chen s mikaela shiffrin advil red bull high sierra u.s ski team natalie portman onwards in cunanan nair obama it s carey s hollywood nostradamus that s underwood truth people raisman raisman condom photos country devotes cover learn show x-acto mother planned relax reports clear backpack true actress couple flee brochure rumors
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