If Trump weren't running for President, or, say, a racist, rapist, criminal, traitor, serial liar, Putin suck-up, really bad dancer, con man, possessor of all seven deadly sins...wait, what was I saying again? Oh, right! Trump businesses, if you can call them that, are hilarious. Much like the man himself, they're all gauche, ill-fitting, weird, cheesy, vacuous exercises in nothing.