DAVID PANNELL Have you ever heard of a coffee closet? Well, neither have I, but I think I just invented it. Allow me to explain. A coffee closet is designed specifically for the parents of toddlers, and it is just what it sounds like. It is a closet where people with toddlers can go to escape their toddlers, which is what every red-eyed, sleep-deprived toddler parent wants more than anything.