I'm Asian with shimmering, slick black hair, light chocolate eyes, full, pouty lips, vanilla complexion and a slender build. Since you don’t know any differently, I’m a hot Asian chick. (smiley face) Let’s leave it at that and move on to the point I’m trying to make -- the fact that most people see that and nothing else. That race sometimes becomes the primary factor for selecting relationships. It seems more often than not, an Asian will seek a non-Asian.

There’s nothing wrong with interracial relationships or mix races, although there is a lot wrong with selecting race before all other factors. When Asians say, “I only date White or Black or Hispanic” and complain that they can’t find a good man or woman; it could be because they need to cast a wider net and be more open-minded. I can understand dating the same race for cultural familiarity and understanding, but the reverse cannot be true. After all, how many Asians will tell you that they’re happy in their relationship solely because their spouse is not Asian?

I've heard of the reasons for not dating Asians. What's behind the reasons is primarily a selection for physical traits, because surely it can’t be based on personality. The same personality could exist in any race. Just because the last Asian girl you dated was loud, obnoxious, abusive and disrespectful doesn’t make the whole race that way. And no, marrying that tall 6 feet tall model does not mean your kids will come out super tall and attractive. Two beautiful people may not make beautiful babies. So, why work so hard on an attribute that doesn’t get you anywhere but frustrated?

In the end, it's not about race or color; it's about finding compatibility, understanding and building a strong bond with someone who loves and respects you. Select someone who will make you feel safe, secure, warm and fuzzy, and if he happens to be the race you wanted, great. If not, just know that you make each other happy, and your children will turn out just fine.