Dear Amy: Last year, my husband and my best friend “Derry” were caught having a very intense emotional affair. When it all came out, Derry was overheard saying that she didn’t care about breaking “girl code” and didn’t feel guilty about hurting anyone. Her own marriage was in the toilet at the time, so she jeopardized mine. I was obviously devastated and extremely angry. Of course, the affair exposed fissures in my own marriage, and my husband and I had a year of intense marriage counseling and worked through it.